I died and went to heaven,
Where I was in the company of Seven.
They all welcomed me to the Pearly Gates,
And introduced themselves as The Seven Fates.
"The Seven Fates?" I asked. "What happened to St. Peter welcoming me?"
One Fate responded, "He stepped out for a moment to take a pee."
So, there I was at the gateway to Heaven, so happy and full of hope,
Feeling very confident, since I had just seen the new Pope.
The Fates gathered into a huddle and began to talk,
I told them to take their time, I'd just go for a walk.
One said, "No, wait. To Heaven you must go,
There to reap what we have to bestow."
But, as I began to enter into Heaven I was stopped,
It was St. Peter and his mouth just dropped.
"You may not let him pass through these gates!
What were you thinking, my Seven Fates?"
He looked to me and said, "This is a degenerate who just got out of jail."
Then sighed and added, "I'm sorry son, but you must go to Hell!"