Review of Super Mario Bros. 3 for the NES Classic
By: Kevin Magnus

So, the boss reached out to me for a video game review for this issue, and I said that I was busy brooding in my dark cave. Now, I know that sounded like a confession that I am Batman, but it's not—although I will add to the record that no one has seen the dark knight or myself in the same room, so yeah, just saying…

Anywho, I was convinced to write something about the last video game I played. I admit that while I have the gaming trinity, PlayStation, Xbox and Nintendo Switch, the last game was played on the NES Classic, yeah, I love that little thing and though no one quite understands the affair I have for it and refuses to join me, I can easily play with myself for hours on end.

Wait, what?

Games! I mean I play video games by my self for hours at a time!

So, the last game that I played was the 1990 mega hit Super Mario Bros 3! Now, I feel compelled to tell you that while it was released, it took me three years of mowing lawns and picking up dog poo to save up for this bad boy and on my 16th birthday, I bought my self this game—and it was worth every blister too!

I remember the first time I saw it, was when it was released and I was at my cousin's house. It was around May of 1990 and his dad bought it for him to play on his forty–two inch television—it was 1990, that was huge to a kid.

Now, I wasn't a big fan of the second installment of the franchise, because it felt nothing like the first, which I am a master at, just saying… But, Super Mario Bros 3 delivers! Or delivered, since, you know, it was released thirty years ago this coming February (well, in the US anyway).

While it remained 8–bit, the feel seemed like it was more (it wasn't until Super Nintendo that the games were presented as 16–bit). Everything appeared cutting edge at the time, and still do in regards to NES games. Starting the game, it feels like a modified version of World One Level One of the very first version, but unlike the flat graphic they really popped, which the basic and sensible commands remained.

Also, instead of only three stages per level there were eight and that wasn't mentioning the fortresses where Boom–Boom is waiting to do battle or the wandering Hammer Brothers fight and the airship were you confront that level's boss which are Koopalings which means that King Koopa got his freak on with someone, but fun fact in the rest of the world Lemmy, Wendy, Morton, Larry, Iggy, Ludwig, and Roy are known as Bowser's minions, and not his kids. So the States made it more sexy! USA! USA! USA! USA!

Anywho…

Sooo… After you journey through all eight worlds and are able to store different weapons to battle King Koopa AKA Bowser. I must admit that the final battle was somewhat anticlimactic, because you know us American and our climax…that came out wrong… Um, yeah, so, you travel through his castle/fortress and find homie chilling, not like Netflix and Chill, but like just kicking it. After interrupting his alone time, he spits a few fireballs out and tries to jump you like a neighborhood bicycle. Every time he lands he breaks a brick from the floor, and the object is to get him to fall through.

Once that happens, there is a few second lag in the game and a door to the right of the screen open and it is glowing, so you figure, "Why not," and way inside. There in a blue tiled room we find a character That looks like Princess Toadstool or Peach in the States (USA! USA! USA!), but she says that the Princess is in another castle, but follows up with Just kidding and HA! HA! Bye! Bye! And fades out to the opening screen—like why would you play with my emotions like that!

I am almost positive that you have played this game at least once as it sold over seventeen million copies worldwide! With all of that said, I will give my second favorite game in the whole wide world, Super Mario Bros 3 four and a half stars , and apologies to the rest of the world for having a sexier version than you do, but you know… USA! USA! USA!