The Grim Reaper
By: Christopher Bice

Walking home last evening it was a terrible night,
My wife and I had us a wicked mean fight.
I stormed out the door and was in a drinking mood,
Down to Murphy's Tavern I go so I could brood.

I poured back the scotch without any food,
The more I drank the fouler my mood.
Out the door Murphy threw me and said, go home,
His dog growled at me; I screamed leave me alone!

I staggered to the cemetery; it's a shortcut home,
When suddenly I felt like I was not alone.
Something moved in the shadows, I stopped to stare,
The hairs on my neck told me to say a prayer.

I knew it was the Grim Reaper he was coming for me,
Suddenly I got sick, I fell to my knees.
I begged I could change, it was my drunken plea,
You stupid drunkard. I'm the gardener out for a pee.

It pains me to tell you this but I woke up in bed,
My stomach wrenching from the massive pain in my head.
I told my wife I was sorry about the fight,
You know I told her, I almost died last night.

So here I am now contemplating my new life,
The Reaper spared me and brought me home to my wife.

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