Personal Journal – Local Time: AC 6058.09.27

It turns out that my final report, previously published in the 50_th issue of TWoM, was not so final after all. Upon completion of that task, I prepared to leave this sector of the galaxy, only to have an energy coil fail during the ship's creation of an Einstein–Rosen bridge. This caused the power matrix to overload, which created a phase shift in the space–time continuum and failed to transport me home, located in a gas nebula several sectors on the spin–ward side of the spiral arm.

Worse than failing to return home is returning here to earth instead, seven years into the future thanks to the phase shift of time during the above mentioned bridge creation. When last I was here, I gathered data on several specimens of the human species. The idea of including humans in the Universal Alliance seemed a risky proposition but my personal feelings must be set aside to do this job. I will perform another analysis while I'm in the neighborhood, just for old time's sake.

As before, I found it laughably easy to hack into the membership database of the TWoM servers and, with the help of social media, abduct one of their columnists. This specimen should provide both additional data and mild amusement while I await the ship's self–repair nanobots to complete their job.

Today's abductee is Kevin Adams, a noted TWoM member who writes a regular column in which he interviews other humans of interest. The irony of interviewing an interviewer is not lost on me. This should be entertaining.

Kevin Adams was completely unaware of my true form during the questioning process; most humans are squeamish around creatures gifted with more appendages than their own. I provide the interview here for future analysis, bathroom reading material, and to include with my report to my superiors after I return home.

Juxnezlyth: Kevin Adams, when I chitter backwards to one, you will awake with the belief that I am a close friend. You will cooperate with this interview by answering all my questions in an open and honest fashion. Let us begin… three, two, one.

Good Morning, Kevin. I trust you have recovered from the sedative. Why don't you begin by telling me a little about yourself?

Kevin Adams: Avid board gamer, bacon lover, writer, fabricator and silly dad are just a few words that come to mind. I've been published several times, but have yet to see a penny for my efforts. That's right, I do all this ‘for the love of it'.

Juxnezlyth: Why did you decide to become a columnist for The World of Myth?

Kevin Adams: It's something that ‘just happened' at first. I can't tell you why I signed up. However, when TWOM announced its return, it didn't take much haggling to get me back on board.

Juxnezlyth: Who is your favorite author?

Kevin Adams: Well, this may seem unusual, but it's Dave Ramsey. His books really helped me get my financial life in gear when I needed it most.

Juxnezlyth: What do you like most about interviewing people?

Kevin Adams: I get to see a side of an artist not given in the blurb. If the artist/interviewee is excited and gives good responses, it makes it so much fun and very addictive for me.

Juxnezlyth: You've been writing for TWoM a long time. I imagine you have some special insights on its history. What are some of the most memorable?

Kevin Adams: I really loved it back in the day. We had some hard–core talent and a good following. It seems we've lost a lot of that steam over the years and I think it's due to social media being such a distraction. Perhaps we could do tweets or something to tap into the next generation of fans. I dunno.

Juxnezlyth: I've read most of the stories you've written. They sometimes have a touch of spirituality in them. Do you believe in a higher power? And if so, do you call him Juxnezlyth?

Kevin Adams: I do believe in a higher power and no it is not you, Juxnezlyth.

Juxnezlyth: Well, it doesn't hurt to ask. Continuing from the previous question, which of your own stories is your favorite? Why?

Kevin Adams: You do realize I've created at least 44 pieces/stories/poems just for this website, right? A favorite? I'll give you two, but I love them all equally.

Control (story) and Promises (poem).

Control was my chance to let loose and try to think, what if. What if I stepped into the shoes and mind of a killer, who would I be? Promises mixed two of my favorite things together, battles and fatherhood.

Juxnezlyth: Where do you get your ideas? Do you order them from a catalogue?

Kevin Adams: Most of my ideas come from daily inspirations, like being a father or general struggles in life and we all have demons, so I get all that out when I can.

Juxnezlyth: Let's say you somehow met an alien being from another world – hypothetically speaking of course. What would be the first question you'd ask?

Kevin Adams: Do you ever think humanity will be ready to embrace aliens?

Juxnezlyth: Personally? No. I think humans will destroy themselves before then. But I've been wrong before.

That's all I need for surface data. Now let's dig a little deeper, shall we? Hold still while I insert this probe. There we go. So, tell me, what frightens a horror writer such as yourself the most?

Kevin Adams: When you've looked death right in the face, there isn't much that scares you. However, if you must know, it would be the loss of my daughter in any scope.

Juxnezlyth: In your opinion, what is the single largest problem facing your world today and how would you help solve it?

Kevin Adams: Ignorance. I think people make choices based on what they see on social media and the news without getting the whole story from both sides. Not sure how you solve that though.

Juxnezlyth: The solution to ignorance is knowledge. It's too bad most of the knowledge obtained by your species is useless. Tell me which non–biological object you most cherish and why.

Kevin Adams: A small wooden cross that hangs about my neck. It was given to me at the end of a spiritual journey and it's a reminder of how far I've come.

Juxnezlyth: Spiritual journey? Would you care to elaborate on that?

Kevin Adams: 2012 was a rough year, I found myself at a Christian retreat and spent 3 days away from the troubles of this world. Healing and gathering strength.

Juxnezlyth: Let's say a power matrix overloaded in your spaceship and created a phase shift in the space–time continuum, which then allowed you to travel in time. Everyone has regrets; what one thing would you change or do differently in the past? (For the purpose of answering this question, assume time paradoxes are not an issue.)

Kevin Adams: Honestly, my history has made me the man I am. Failures and successes have led me to who I am and I would not change that timeline. To answer your question though, I would like to go back and hug my father once last time, sit down and chat with him, asking his advice on anything I could think of. No, I wouldn't tell him what was to come either.

Juxnezlyth: And what about the future? Where do you see yourself in five years? What are you doing now to make that a reality?

Kevin Adams: In five years? Well, I would like to see myself closer to my goal of retirement. I am currently working with a financial adviser on those plans.

Juxnezlyth: If a bored alien wanted to amuse itself by rigging the state lottery so that you alone won, what would be the first thing you did with the money? Would you display your gratitude by taking the alien out to lunch?

Kevin Adams: Pay off my house, invest, grow my wealth, and bless others with it.

Do aliens even like earth food?

Juxnezlyth: I particularly love gumbo. Unfortunately, it is extremely difficult to find anyone in my sector of the galaxy who can make it correctly. You wouldn't happen to know anyone would you?

Kevin Adams: As much as I love to cook Gumbo, there is not a lot of call for it. I usually cook it when my nephew comes over and stays to visit or if anyone asks me too. So I really haven't cooked any in over a year.

Juxnezlyth: Tell me of your fondest memory in life and contrast it with your worst.

Kevin Adams: My daughter's birth (or anything awesome she does to make me proud, which is a lot) and in contrast… my father's death, absolute worst loss in my life.

Juxnezlyth: Do you consider yourself successful? Are you happy with where you are in life and what you have?

Kevin Adams: If one considers success as being able to pay bills and keep the lights on then yes. I believe in counting small blessings.

Juxnezlyth: Do you have any last words before I teleport you back to earth?

Kevin Adams: First, you seem very annoying and remind me of my cousin.

Second and more importantly, honor, integrity and chivalry should never go out of style.

Juxnezlyth: Your cousin sounds like a wonderful person. I will abduct him next. I'll just pull his location from your mind and… well, that was easier than expected.

This has been enlightening. My report should keep the boys in the analytical department busy for quite some time – assuming I can return home with no further problems. The results of all my data will help determine whether humans should be included in the Universal Alliance.

Now then, Kevin, I will hold this mask to your face. Breathe deep of my sedative and begin to relax. I will again chitter backwards from three. When I get to one, you will fall asleep. When you awake, all that has transpired will seem as nothing more than a dream. Three, two, one… sleep.