Zorch the Magic Dragon By: Tiffany L. Proctor


Zorch the Magic Dragon
By: Tiffany L. Proctor

It beeped incessantly when Zorch pounded the buttons on the bottom half of the object. In fact, the thing exasperated the dragon, and he kept asking himself why King Taq was so enamored with the box-like object he'd found in a rubbish heap behind the new castle. "It must be an ancient relic from the past!" Taq had exclaimed in glee, as Zorch stood quietly in the background, wondering just what had driven the king to go digging around in a pile of garbage in the first place.

Zorch muttered in indignation and breathed some fire at the offensive object for good measure.

"Dragon!" a voice behind Zorch yelled. "What are you doing to my artifact?"

Turning around, Zorch saw the king standing to his left, with a ditzy blonde damsel on his arm.

"Ohhh, is that your dragon?" Miss Ditz asked, stretching her hand out as if she expected Zorch to sniff it. "Can I pet it?"

In answer, Zorch puffed himself up and blew a ring of fire at the bimbo.

"He's a bit touchy," Taq remarked. "But he can't harm you." The king's date looked unconvinced. "He's on a strict diet and can't have any human meat. How's that going anyway, dragon?"

Patting his rather large belly proudly, Zorch grinned and said "I've lost three hundred pounds already. But I've still got another thousand or so to lose before I'm back to my pre-village level of fitness."

"He ate an entire village a month ago," Taq whispered to his date. The girl took a few steps back. Zorch flashed his teeth at her menacingly.

"Anyhow," Taq went on, addressing the blonde, "I've recently made the most amazing discovery." He gestured to the beeping flip-box on the ground in front of Zorch. "We haven't figured out how to work it yet…"

"I can't get it to do anything but beep at me," Zorch confessed. "Every time I press one of those little buttons it makes the most horrible racket. And it gets very hot on the bottom after a while." The dragon scoffed. "Whatever it is, it doesn't work very well."

"Let me have another look at it…" In an attempt to show off in front of his date, Taq settled down in front of his new toy and began to press buttons at random.

* * *

Clunk. Clunk. Beep. BEEEEEEP. King Taq pounded on the bottom half of the artifact in desperation to get it to do something.

Suddenly the thing shouted, "Stop pounding on me! I know I frustrate you and make you mad but I can't help it. You're the idiot who installed Vista on me in the first place!"

Zorch jumped at the sound of the box's voice, as if it had bitten him.

"I beg your—" King Taq started to speak, but was interrupted.

"No, I will not open that. It may contain a virus. Heh. Now you're cursing. Yeah, that's gonna make me behave all right. Watch it bud, you're getting spit on my LCD screen. Do you have any idea how hard it will be to clean that without leaving streaks?"

"Eek!" Now the King was trying desperately to make the thing shut up.


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About the Author

Tiffany L. Proctor is the author of the Obsidian Nights series. She is a member of the Indiana Horror Writers, and resides in Indianapolis, Indiana with a German Shepherd and a shape-shifting cat named Prysm. For more information on the Obsidian Nights books, or the upcoming Obsidian Nights movie, go to

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