Good rules for good writing and good rules for good submitting Bye; STeVe BoLiN


Good rules for good writing and good rules for good submitting
(A humorous look at bad writing and submitting)
Bye; STeVe BoLiN

Something else that new writers must know about is run-on sentences within paragraphs that would be better written if they were divided into several sentences rather than one because the reader can easily get lost if, like the abovementioned paragraph, there are frequent changes of topic that are addressed Ė it would seem as though some of this should be obvious, but itís apparently not which is why Iím addressing the issue at this time Ė and often this leads to paragraphs that are unnecessarily long for no reason other than the writer seems to think that his/her reader has nothing better to do with their time than to read mindless drivel, and it is at this point that I must wonder if Iíve done the same thing in this paragraph to demonstrate the very thing which I am speaking of, so perhaps I should stop right now Ė or should I keep going for those who arenít too bright?

I suppose I should alert the would-be writer about narrative tenses and points of view (POV). You find yourself wondering if the reader understands what you wrote. You worry that, in the past, your writing wonít be as good as in the future. Take a look at the man who considered himself an author who is currently working on a novel concerning the end of the world which has already occurred the day after tomorrow. I have written some of this in first person. You will write in second person and that man over there is writing in third person and asking himself if itís the right thing to do. What do you think? Who cares? Just pay attention to these rules and stop interrupting.

Conceivably, abstruse phraseology comprises heterogeneous cerebration, amalgamating recondite locutions alongside rhodomontade idiom, consummating with the bibliomaniac opining that their comprehensive propensity is obtuse. Perhaps I should rephrase that more simply: Possibly, difficult sentences contain different thoughts, combining obscure words with obsolete language, resulting with readers who believe their ability to understand is dulled. Most readers are very impressed by writers who unnecessarily over-use complex words. Besides, everyone should keep a thick dictionary nearby when they read.

In this paragraph, it might good idea to see if I any words out. Sometimes they easy miss. Other times you can quickly them. I hope this lesson has proved point. Iíd hate to that I wasted so time working on it. Do think all these rules need to revised also? If think so then are just plain.

Now letís discuss rules for submitting to editors or agents.

Be sure to completely ignore the Submission Guidelines when forwarding your story for publication consideration. Editors and agents love to receive e-mails and queries from individuals who canít follow instructions. Reading dozens of different formats, written in any old typeface, color or size, is a great way to strain their eyes and make their day even longer than normal. And who doesnít enjoy doing lots of unnecessary work?

Along these same lines, be sure to also indicate to the editor that your work is copyrighted Ė itís a true sign of a professional. Editors and agents are completely ignorant of the fact that any piece of work is copyrighted the moment the pen leaves the paper. In fact, itís best if you never let your agent or editor read your work unless they agree to publish it first. The rumors about agents and editors being swamped with a continuous inflow of submissions are simply untrue. They are secretly waiting to steal every submission sent in and call it their own. You have every right to be paranoid, so be sure to point that out to your editor by placing a copyright notice or symbol on each page of your submission.

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