Little Problem By: David K. Montoya


Little Problem
By: David K. Montoya

I remember walking into the small office. There were five people sitting in a circle at the center of the room and one other who sat in the middle of the formation. As I walked up I spotted one available seat left, so I seated myself and gave everyone a bright smile to tell everyone hello. I was overly nervous though; I had never attended a self help slash confession seminar before.

It was my wife’s idea; she suggested that perhaps if I were to go to one of these courses, it would somehow help me with my 'little' problem.

We had been trying to have a child for over a year now. For the first eight or nine months of our marriage, everything worked fine. There was no pressure; it was just for fun you know? It was on my wife’s twenty-fourth birthday she announced that she knew what she wanted for her next birthday. “And what would that be?” I asked.

“I want a baby,” she replied, but luckily for her, she was not looking my way. My face dropped in shock. I know it did, because I felt it when it hit the floor.

“You what?” I asked, falling back into a chair and becoming very light headed.

“You heard me, dork. I want to have a baby or at least be pregnant by the time I turn twenty-five.”

Well, for the following year we tried everything. I stopped drinking coffee and even started wearing boxer shorts. But nothing worked. My wife turned twenty-five a few months back and being the sweet and loving spouse that she was, she told me I needed to go see a therapist or she was going to run away with some pool boy named Raul.

So there I was.

The man in the middle, who I believed to be the therapist, popped to his feet after looking at his watch and announced to everyone that it was time to start. At that instant, I felt my gut starting to spin itself into a trucker’s knot. This was my wife’s idea not mine. As I was about to stand up and get the hell out of there, I heard, “So would our new-comer like to introduce himself to everyone.”

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About the Author

David K. Montoya has been writing for nearly 15 years and during that time has produced some 200 underground comics, including "M-Team," "Ayotnom," "The Hunters-Xydus," "Lifesigns," "Smash," and continues to work on the upcoming graphic novel, "Underground to Nowhere." Along with producing his current run of poems, short stories and serials, he also did the artwork and dialog for the soon to be released, "Smash, Special Edition."
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