I’m never listening to my psychologist again.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy. But he doesn’t always give the best advice. In fact, the last time I took his advice will be the last time I take his advice.

I’d been seeing him for a couple of months when his bad advice came. I was telling him how stressed out I get at work. I just wished there was a hobby or sport I could do that would be both easy and relaxing. He suggested that I try to learn horse back riding.

“So you think I should take a horse course!” I said with a grin. He groaned at my not-so-witty reply. At the time, his suggestion seemed like a great idea, so I made plans to start the very next weekend.

I’m a city guy – I have been all my life. I didn’t want to travel a long distance to a country farm on a regular basis for riding. I needed somewhere closer. Thankfully, I knew a place right in the city where I could go for all the horse back riding I wanted. The price was so low, I couldn’t believe my luck.

My family was with me for that first time. My wife and kids watched from a safe distance as I waited in line for my turn. Because of the great price, it seemed that everyone was taking advantage of this great deal. I lost track of how long I waited.

When the horse came to a stop, the rider dismounted and ran off. It seemed as though it was now my turn. I slowly and cautiously approached the beast. I’m not an expert on horses so I can’t say how many hands tall this one was. I was impressed by the beautiful colorations of the coat, however. I felt my heart racing as I mounted the animal.

At first, the ride was relaxing just as my psychologist had said it would be. The slow, gentle canter of the horse’s pace was soothing and relaxing. I smiled and waved at my family as I rode along. After a few moments of this, my peaceful ride soon took a turn for the worse.

Before I knew what happened, the horse began galloping away, out of my control! My knuckles went white as I gripped onto the saddle for dear life. My heart was racing like an overworked engine about to explode. I squeezed my thighs together to stay on top of the frenzied equine. My family could only stand helplessly and stare at my predicament.

The frantic motion of the crazed horse was more than I could bear! In an attempt to save myself, I leapt off of the horse. Fate was against me that day, though. As I leapt, my boot got caught on the stirrup and I was lying with my back on the ground as the horse continued to buck wildly about. I knew that it would only be moments before the beast stepped on me! I was so scared that I was screaming at the top of my lungs. My frightened, high-pitched yelling sounded like a little girl as I wept for my momma.

My family excitedly yelled for help! After what seemed an eternity, I saw my savior approach! Within moments, a Wal-Mart employee came running over and unplugged the machine! Let me tell you, everyone in the store was staring at me. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life!

Like I said, I’m never going to listen to my psychologist again!