Mother of the Bride Woes
By: Peggy Gerber

With my daughter's wedding looming
there's so much I have to do,
get rid of all my wrinkles,
pick out that perfect shoe.

My teeth must be bleached whiter,
my dyed-brown hair must look divine,
I'll need Spanx to hide my stomach
and nails polished to a shine.

Alas, my whitening toothpaste failed,
you know that one with the great reviews,
turns out that expensive wrinkle cream
is really just fake news,

and those high heeled shoes I love so much
hurt my feet beyond the pale,
the Spanx that hold my outsides in
make me feel like I'm trapped in jail.

Still, when that wedding day arrives
and I walk my girl down the aisle,
there will be twenty-six years of unconditional love
lighting up my joyful smile.


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