Kevin made it home and went to bed immediately. Even the sounds of his roommates arguing over lunch didn’t wake him up. He did come around about three o’clock, when the pain from his chest woke him up. He found a half full bottle of Coke on the table by his bed and thought about it. Must have been from Friday night. Say about, what? Seven or so. He shrugged, grabbed both pills he had remaining and washed them down with the stale cola.

Gauugh.

Horrible taste. He wasn’t sure if it was the pills or the cola. He didn’t really care.

He went back to sleep.

Along about seven o’clock, he heard a frenzied pounding on his door and then in a moment, the sound of thundering room mate hoof beats. He woke up just in time to knock hands away from his shoulders. He’d deck anybody who shook him right now.

His still sore knuckles contradicted him.

“What? What?”

“Get up, damn it. You’ve got to see this.” It was Mandy. There was the hint of manic laugher in her voice.

From the common kitchen area, he thought he heard Pete. “Christ on a crutch. How much do you think it weights.”

“I don’t wanna know.” That was from Carl.

Mandy caught sight of the bandage on his chest and recoiled. “What the hell happened to you?”

“It’s a long story. I’m alright though, so don’t worry.”

“You’re still bleeding.”

“No, I’m bleeding again. Cause you got me up entirely too suddenly, I might add. No, don’t give me that hurt look. It’s okay. But let me get up on my own, okay?”

Mandy nodded. “Sorry, but this is – God, it’s indescribable. Funny as hell but icky, too. You gotta come and see.”

“Right.” Kevin managed to get up and marveled that the pain pills were still working. He almost felt okay. A bit muzzy in the head, but that was fine, at least for now. Right now he didn’t want to think too clearly. He’d start piecing things together later on. “Okay, I’m up. Show me the icky, funny, indescribable wonder.”

Mandy grinned at him and grabbed a hand. She rather gently led him into the kitchen common room.

Carl regarded him. “Many, ah, happy returns. I guess.”

On the table was a rather large dark mass of something that didn’t bear too close a scrutiny. It kind of looked like a huge cake, but only if you had major fault lines in your psyche. On top, written in what appeared to be Rediwhip, were the words, ‘Happy Birthday, Kevin’. Underneath that, there was a stylized drawing of a cat. With a grin. Kind of a Cheshire cat sort of thing.

The cake appeared to be made of dead cockroaches.

Pete said, “At least we know it’s fresh.”

“How the hell do you know that?” Carl asked.

“A couple on the top are still moving around, sort of.”

There was a moment of silence before Mandy, Pete and Kevin laughed.

Carl looked disgusted and stomped off into his room. Over his shoulder he yelled, “Get it out of here!” before he slammed the door.

One of the cat’s eyes appeared to wink at Kevin.

Dryly, Kevin observed, “I always could count on Kat. She’s a lady of her word.”

From Carl’s room, they heard, “The word is OUT! Or I’m gonna lose my cookies.

Kevin nodded and looked around for something to put it in. He found a pan under the sink and a large empty coffee can to use as a scoop and turned back to the table.

Only now, the table held an ordinary cake with normal candles. It still was dark, but the dark was chocolate. The lettering was still Rediwhip, though.

They never told Carl and never gave him piece.

He probably wouldn’t have eaten it, anyway.

The also never saw another cockroach in the place and Mandy lived there for another two years.