Hey Boy and Girls! This is Movie Goer Grim here with all of you to yet again review four new movies currently out in theaters. So, letís get to it!
The first film I want to review is the third installment of the wildly popular "SHREK" series of computer-animated movies--everyoneís favorite, hygienically challenged mean green ogre (played by Mike Myers). Yes, I do mean, "SHREK the Third!"
This time around Shrek faces both parental and royal responsibility when his wife Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) finds out that she is pregnant and that her father, King Harold (John Cleese), is on his deathbed.
"SHREK the Third" has pop culture potshots galore, which made the first two films classics. So, for "SHREK the Third" I give Three Big Green Howls of Pleasure !
The next flick on my list is the live action movie which was loosely based on the popular 80ís cartoon with the same name, "Transformers."
A long time ago, far away on the planet Cybertron, a war was being waged between the noble Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, and the devious Decepticons, commanded by the evil Megatron, for control over the Allspark, a mystical talisman that would grant unlimited power to whoever possessed it. The Autobots managed to smuggle the Allspark off the planet, but Megatron blasted off in search of it.
He eventually tracked it to the planet of Earth (in 1850), but his reckless desire for power sent him right into the Arctic Ocean, and the sheer cold forced him into a paralyzed state. His body was later found by Captain Archibald Witwicky and before going into a coma, Megatron used the last of his energy to engrave a map, showing the location of the Allspark, into the Captainís glasses, and send a transmission to Cybertron.
One hundred years later, Autobots and Decepticons arrive in Earth at the same time, both in search of the one person who could lead them to the Allspark--a teenaged boy named Sam Witwicky.
After watching this film the first thing I said was, "Huh?" No one told me that the movie was not a take off of the old cartoon. Other than the names, the entire story was different from the original. And at times I found it to be a bit Kiddish (yes, I realize that it was based off of a cartoon), while the original which was fairly serious.
Okay, this review is getting too long, so for Michael Bayís "Transformers," I give just Two Howls of Pleasure .
Okay, all done with the kiddy stuff. Our next film is based on a short-story written by the master of horror, Stephen King; "1408."
Mike Enslin (John Cusak) makes a living as an author who specializes in paranormal phenomenon. After receiving a postcard saying, "DO NOT STAY IN 1408," Mike becomes intrigued. After much hassle and warring from Hotel Manager (Samuel L. Jackson), Enslin finally makes it into the room. What seems at first to be a normal hotel room turns into a horrific nightmare and Mike suddenly only has one hour to live.
Like any book to movie or short-story to movie as the case may be, it never lives up to the hype. If you have never read the story, then you will sincerely enjoy this film. But if you are like me and you have read the story, then you may not be so thrilled.
In the screenplay so much was added in, which in my opinion took away from the general tale that was told by King. All in all it was not a bad movie, and that is why I give "1408" Two and a Half Howls of Pleasure .
And finally, we round out my part of the movie reviews with Bruce Willis in his fourth film as Officer John McClane in "Live Free or Die Hard."
When someone hacks into the computers at the FBIís Cyber-Crime Division, the Director decides to round up all the hackers who could have done it. But he is told that because it is the 4th of July most of their agents are not around, so they might have trouble getting people to find the hackers.
So the Director instructs them to get the local Police Departments to take care of it, and one of the cops they ask is John McClane (Willis) who is tasked with bringing a hacker named Matt Farrell (Justin Long) to the FBI.
I enjoyed this film. It has been a long time since I enjoyed something like this on a grand level. Bruce Willis really earned his wages in this film, and I am going on the line by saying that this is the movie of the summer and very possibly the movie of the year! And with that being said, I give "Live Free or Die Hard," Four and a Half action packed, bullets flying, computer hacking Howls of Pleasure !
All right folks, thatís it for me this time around, so remember donít take my word on these films, go out there and review them for yourselves and let me know what you think.
So until next time, I remainÖ
Movie Goer Grim
All right, gang, it's Reaper Rick back at ya and I just want to say that the movie "Smokin' Aces" was most definitely Smokin'! And what a cast--Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Andy Garcia, Alicia Keys, Ray Liotta, Jeremy Piven (Entourage) and Ryan Reynolds.
Piven plays Buddy 'Aces' Israel, a playboy/mobster wannabe who ends up spilling the beans about the mob to the FBI. When a mob boss puts out a Million Dollar contract on Aces to shut him up, every crazed hit man in the country wants the job and the FBI is trying to keep the rich player alive long enough to testify.
This flick is Action Packed, but it is also violent and bloody, which is great for some viewers but not for everyone. There are also some great plot twists and a shocker of a surprise ending. For plenty of gut wrenching action and surprises everywhere, I give "Smokin' Aces" a Smokin' 4 Howls of Pleasure.
Next up is another comic book raised up to movie level--"Ghost Rider." I was not familiar with the comic, so the entire thing was new to me, which was probably for the best. Nicholas Cage is motorcycle stunt rider Johnny Blaze who inadvertently makes a deal with the devil (Peter Fonda--the original 'Easy Rider') in this special effects masterpiece. Blaze becomes the devil's unwilling bounty hunter and must track down evil souls on Earth and deliver them to Hell. To do so Blaze turns into a living, flaming skeleton at night and rides a really 'Hot' bike to hunt down evil doers and hand them over to Fonda.
Costars Eva Mendes (Blaze's love interest) and Sam Elliott only add to the quality of this flick. The action isn't constant, but it's very good when there, and the special effects are great. I have to give "Ghost Rider" 3 and a Half Blazing Howls of Pleasure . It's a 'HOT' one!
Now we come to a horror flick that may have been missed when at theatres. "The Messengers" stars Kristen Stewart, Dylan McDermott and John Corbett (from 'Northern Exposure').
When a family escapes the city and settles on a desolate sunflower farm in North Dakota (I know--but those little bags of sunflower seeds you see in stores must come from somewhere), they have no idea that they traded hectic city life for a possible stay in Hell. As the children began to see horrible apparitions in the house--apparitions the parents can not see--everyone starts to think the kids are flipping out. But when the apparitions began to harm the kids, Kristen must try to get her parents to believe the ghosts are real--and dangerous.
The special effects in this flick are pretty good, too. What makes them even more freaky is that only the 3 year old sees them at first and thinks they are friendly and wants to play with them. Eventually, the entire family is in danger and only by solving the deaths of the deadly spirits can anyone escape them.
This is a fun, spooky flick, with some good effects, so I give "The Messengers" 3 freaky Howls of Pleasure .
Okay. Finally I saw a weird flick the other night on TV and wanted to add it to my reviews just for fun. "Reeker" is from 2006 and starred almost no one important except Michael Ironside and Marcia Strassman and initially appears to be just another teenage slasher flick. However, if you stick with it for about an hour, it gets better.
Five young people are headed for a desert rave--or something along the lines of the Burning Man Festival--I never could quite figure out where they were supposed to be going, but (and wow, this is weird) they get stuck in an out of the way rest stop in the desert and all the locals have disappeared! Now is that a clever plot twist or what? Sorry. Anyway, there are actually some people around, but they are all strangely mutilated and of course, totally insane.
So one by one our heroes fall victim to their own strange and grisly mutilations and deaths, but before they meet their bloody end they smell something really nauseating (remember the title?). This weird stench is actually Death himself making an appearance and taking the lives of anyone who happens to be around.
This is where the story gets somewhat good. The figure of Death is really pretty cool looking and special effects come in handy from here on. In fact, Death stinks so badly he is actually wearing a gas mask at first, but that is soon ripped away and his real face is revealed. Not everyone dies--oh, wait, yes they do--but the surprise/twist ending is worth the 90 minutes or so you have to wait around to see it.
This is a definite 'popcorn flick' and worth watching with a bunch of drunk friends. I have to give "Reeker" a really smelly 2 Howls of Pleasure .
And that's it for the Reaper this issue. Get out there and watch some Good movies. I'll catch ya next time.